The Dress Story

I wrote this the evening it happened but delayed posting until I returned from Germany. 

The story you are about to read--happened. If it bothers you, it's okay, because it bothers me, too. If you think it's weird, that's also okay, because I also think it's weird. If you're not sure where it fits into your theology, well, I can't help you with yours, but I can tell you that mine doesn't exactly have this sort of situation spelled out in black and white, either.

A preliminary fact: There are things I wanted to do during my summer here that I haven't had time to do. Now, with money dwindling alongside time, things are being erased from my list without occurrence.

Three things I wanted to do that I hadn't told anyone about:

1. I wanted to buy a dress in Europe.
2. I wanted to go on a Treasure Hunt in Europe.
3. I wanted to take a picture of Wuerzburg's very own piece of the Berlin Wall.

Today, I was walking home through the city, having had other shopping to attend to. It occurred to me that I hadn't been on my desired treasure hunt this summer. Oh well, I thought, I have a few more days to myself in Wuerzburg. Maybe it will happen.

And I forgot about it.

I made my way through the city, past the shops and fountains, crossing over the tram tracks because to walk was better than to wait. And then I saw the H&M, which is a European store also popular in America. I had already actually been inside a few times with my fellow travelers, but never for myself.

And then, "Go to H&M and buy a dress." Not audible, of course, but very much Holy Spirit. I know what He sounds like from experience and practice and promise {John 10:27}.

"What?"

"Go to H&M and buy a dress."

"But I don't need a dress, and I'm running out of money, and I want to buy things for other people, and it's H&M--"

"It will be less than 10 Euro."

"I shouldn't spend even that!"

"Go to H&M and buy a dress. It will be less than 10 Euro."

Here is the thing about arguing with Holy Spirit: you don't win. All my arguments revolved around money, and I'm well aware that this is an excuse that does not work with Him, not at all.

I was still some meters away from the store. Maybe they're closed, I thought. Problem solved.

They were fifteen minutes from closing. I walked in. "Sooooo...am I looking for a specific dress?"

"Yes. You'll know it."

"Which way do I turn?"

"Right," and the following verse floated through my head: "Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, 'This is the way; walk in it.'" {Isaiah 30:21}

I went right, to the sale rack. No highlighted dresses. Went upstairs. "So, like, what am I looking for?"

"A green dress."

A green dress? I have a green dress, I thought. Some mustard yellow dresses caught my eye, but upon closer inspection they weren't my style. I walked the entire floor, searching for a green dress {or any}. Seriously, H&M needs to step it up in the green dress department, because I found like two. I also had the feeling it would be a turquoise/green/blue thing--like peacock feathers. {I like peacock feathers.}

I went downstairs again. Did more walking. People were packing up the store. I headed back to the sale racks--still nothing--and then past them. I went around a shelf and--

There's a green dress!

Oh my gosh, I love that. I would wear that.

Wait, it's not on sale. No way it's under ten Euro. Nice try, God, but dresses that cheap are on the sale ra... *checks tag*

9.95EUR.

I give up.

And then I was in a really big quandary. I had found the dress--I could feel that my search was done. They had them in my size. There were a few. Well, okay, I found it. I need to go home and think about it, and if I still like it tomorrow--

"What is there to think about? You found the dress. Buy the dress."

"I can't just buy the dress."

"But this is the dress I told you to buy."

This was a problem. I had been told to buy a dress. I now had the dress in my hand. "Well, I'll try it on." I headed toward the fitting rooms, then changed my mind. "No, I'm going to wait. This is how I shop."

But this is the dress. Why wait when you know exactly what you're supposed to do?

"I don't have that much cash." I counted--I had 9.59EUR.

"But you have a German debit card."

I gave up and bought the dress. {Fun fact: there was some change in my bedroom I'd neglected to return to my wallet. If I'd have had it, I would have had six cents more than necessary for the dress in cash.}

As I walked out, swinging the bag with a dress I loved but hadn't wanted to buy, I said, "Well, okay, I've bought myself a dress."

"No, I bought you a dress."

"Nooo...I think I bought myself a dress."

"But it's My money, isn't it?"

A few wires in my brain sparked.

"That's what guys do for girls. That's what fathers do for daughters. They buy them pretty dresses."

My brain...gave up.

Oh yeah, and the way the tram schedules worked out after my delay in the store, I had a perfectly-timed layover to take a picture of the Berlin Wall.

------

So yep, that's what I did today. I bought a dress. He bought a dress. Whatever. A dress was bought, a really cute one that I quite love and can't wait to wear. He's already told me two specific days when I should wear it. I'm sure there will be more.

Theology. Yeah, about that. I try to keep mine fairly simple: God is good, and He likes me. Does this event fit into that? Yes. Do I think God and I have better things to do than buy dresses when I'm running out of money? Yes. Do I like the dress? Yes. Do I trust Him? Yes.

For what it's worth, I haven't heard His voice this clearly all summer. This was a lot, at once. I don't really know why. I just know that He's a good Dad.

The last thing I want you to think while reading this story is that I'm some sort of "special." I'm not. I don't have a unique gift of hearing God {though I do hear Him uniquely}. I'm not perfect. Take note of the fact that this event didn't occur while I was doing some sort of ministry or while I was thinking particularly holy thoughts. There is nothing inherently about me that makes me more likely to have this kind of experience than you. Tuning in to what Holy Spirit is saying is something that takes practice. It's a skill gained. The following are a couple of steps to help you get started; of course, a relationship with Holy Spirit {and that's all this is, just a conversation with a friend} doesn't need steps. But sometimes they are helpful.

1. Value His voice. If you want to learn how to listen, don't go in halfway. Don't think, "Oh, that'd be nice." He's a person! Would you want someone to shrug and say, "Oh, I guess it'd be cool if I could hear what they're saying"? No! You want someone to be interested in what you have to say...and so does He.
2. Ask Him to join your adventure. If you don't know what to say, here's an example: "Holy Spirit, I know You want to speak to me and tell me things. I just invite You to talk to me, and I ask that You would make it easy for me to hear Your voice. Be loud, please! When I fail, I ask that You give me second- and third-chances and tell me again. Thank You that You are always with me and that You want a relationship with me. Thank You, Jesus, for Your sacrifice on the cross that tore the veil and made it possible for us to be friends."
3. Take risks. There will be a lot of moments where you think you might have maybe heard His voice. Go for it {even if it seems silly or pointless--sometimes it might be}! If it was His voice, you've made that much more progress in learning how to listen, and you know now a little more of what He "sounds" like! But what if it wasn't Him? I heard Kris Vallotton once say that he'd rather do the wrong thing* and think he was being obedient than to disregard what may or may not have been a God-directive. Does that make sense? It honors God when we try.